Some say the meaning of life is to give life meaning, but how do we do that? How do we find our purpose, how do we find the reason for being, the point to our existence and ultimately find exactly what our lives are meant to be. 

That is as deep a question as you can possibly ask yourself, one that encompasses so much responsibility with big decisions. A question maybe too difficult to understand, too confusing to solve, or something we’re just too busy to even give space to think about. 

The lucky few who do find their purpose will live their lives with passion, adventure, joy and an energy we mere mortals look upon with envy and wonder how. 

Exactly how do these people know, what is their secret to living a life of purpose. What did they do that I’m not doing and how do they know they have found their true calling, how are they certain or is this as good as life gets? 

Did their parents give them a special secret passed down through generations. Did they have a mentor who guided them to a pool of knowledge they simply picked the life purpose they liked best, or was their grandma this curious sage who bestowed words of wisdom only wise sages can give. 

Maybe Grandma did have the answers and yes, the above ways to find purpose are all feasible, but I can gladly tell you there is a much simpler way. There are techniques and simple practices I use with all my clients that help them find purpose for a truly amazing life, as too can you. And if the answer doesn’t hit you right away, these tips and ideas will give you the tools and skills to search in the right places and help you along the journey to a life of meaning. 

The simplest place to start is inside you. The secret is you already have the answer, you just don’t know it yet and don’t worry, if you have tried everything possible or simply have no clue, there are ways you won’t have yet discovered and  you just haven’t found the key, the lock or the door to the truth. But trust me, inside you is everything you need.  Inside you is the key, the lock, the door, the map to where the door is located and everything you need to get there, along with fun, excitement, adventure and the purpose of mind, with that passion and purpose we all want. 

These next points are really important, so make sure you do these to the best of your ability. Start by finding a quiet moment where you have the time and space to sit down with yourself and your thoughts. Think loud and ask yourself, as truthfully as you can these questions. What do you want, what do you really want. Please ask this over and again, what do you really want? If that answer is straight forward, then simply, do that thing, what ever that thing may be.

Become a premiership footballer, be a great man, become a husband and build a beautiful family, tour with Eminem, become a doctor and save lives, write a book and movie script, then cast your favourite actor in the lead role. What ever it is, do that. 

And before you say to me, dream on, those things are ridiculous, I say why, why are those things ridiculous, somebody has to do those things, why not you, yes you. 

And if you don’t want to play the lead role or you can’t quite decide on an exact destination, then head in a direction towards something close to what you think you might like. An easy example would be something like music, the music industry  has not only many performers, singers, bands, pianists, guitarists, drummers, violinists, etc etc, but there are hundreds people who support these artists. These roles are amazing, fulfilling and full of purpose and passion, some more than first expected. A completely different example can be family, business or anything, just aim at the direction of something you love and get involved, only you know your desires, so follow your heart. 

Along the way you will soon find the right way if the direction is not clear, as the great Rumi said, ‘when you start to walk on the way, the way appears. 

Plus there are tonnes of positions to do in and around those worlds. Make up artist, photographer, writer, nurse, set carpenter, motorsport mechanic, team coach, nutritionist, therapist, chef, creator, painter, assistant, background staff, support actor, teacher etc etc etc. Plant the seed, feed the soil and let that blossom bloom. 

Another important question to ask yourself is, what type of person are you and what do you like to do. Your natural character traits, your personality, really think this trough.  Are you organised, athletic, a chatterbox, shy and reserved, a creative free thinking spirit who loves adventure or is family your biggest place of love. Keep thinking deeply and go back over everything again and again. What excites you. What gives you satisfaction, enjoyment, fun adventure. What makes you smile, laugh, cry, what inspires you, what gives you goose bumps and leaves you flowing freely in your thoughts.  

Search and list out values, morals, the principles you live by and really analyse what they mean to you and why. Ask someone you trust, your best friend, sister, father, someone you admire, ask them what they see in you and what they think you might be good at.  

The reason to do this deeply, to really ask all these questions, is that these deep points really are all you. Understanding you, knowing your deepest values, thoughts, dream and ideas, then living them, is part of the way to getting the life you really want, as they say, the journey.  

Some say the journey is better than the destination, so becoming equipped with the best version of you, your natural tendencies, characteristics, wants, needs, desires, fears, ambitions and dreams are all required to navigate the course of the right journey and to really enjoy the journey. These are what makes you who you are and is all part of your purpose. 

Beware, because it may be hard, it may even feel wrong, you may lose some friends, or need to change jobs and even move from where you live. Drastic maybe, necessary, possibly, but if those things don’t serve you or are bringing you down, then this is the hard truth about being honest with yourself. 

This part can be hard and I’m not suggesting or advocating that you just up and leave the life you have, don’t abandon the people who rely on you and are important to you, but if you don’t do the best you can for yourself, by default you’re actually letting the people down who truly want the best for you and the is as bad as not fulfilling your true calling. 

And it is hard as one of my previous clients realised, he was not the problem. After deep reflection and asking himself some tough questions, he came to the realisation the area he lived in was the real issue. The people around him and his family were full of bad influences that constantly pulled him into tricky situations and this was getting him nowhere fast. For years he fought to do the right thing, battling those demons and in turn himself, without getting the life he really wanted and deserved. Somehow he had convinced himself it was just his lot in life and he had to man up. Digging deep into what he really wanted from life, he realised, that place and those people were holding him back from who he really was, what he really wanted. When he moved to another town, changed jobs and slowly found new friends, his luck started to change, the bad influences slowly receded and guess what, he found himself and found his purpose. 

So it is vitally important to really look inside yourself, really be honest with who you are, what you want, where you are, what you have and who you really want to be. 

And as an added thought to bear in mind as you search yourself, there are three versions of you to consider. Confused, don’t be, we all have these three people to think about. They are the person you think you are, the person you want to be and the person you actually are. Those three versions may not even know each of the other exists and if they do, trust me, they won’t always see eye to eye and they definitely won’t always get along.  

Can you imagine being stuck in between those three? I know I couldn’t and I’m doing everything I can, working as hard as hard as possible to make sure I know which one gets all my energy. 

The next stage is to then take action and align yourself with those parts of you, your character and personality that truly represent the best version of you and go towards those things you love. There you will find adventure, your calling,  excitement, challenges, difficulty, love, balance, peace and most of all the real reason to be alive today. 

Being lost is hard, finding yourself is hard, you just have to choose which hard you want and go for that. 

It’s won’t be easy but it will be worth it.

If you’re wanting to break free from your old mindsets, limiting beliefs and past traumas that are keeping you stuck in anxiety, low self esteem, depression and other psychological struggles? 

Do you want to release your true potential, find your purpose and live with passion, then let’s connect and talk about how we can work together to help you achieve the happiness and the life you’ve been waiting for. 

Written by,

Coach Wheeler.

Motivational Keynote Speaker

Mindset, Purpose and Life Coach.