Building your self esteem and boosting your confidence are easy enough things to do, but when you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt , and this will only reduce your self esteem and drain your confidence, not what we want or need. So why would we do this to ourselves?

But, those words, those bad thoughts you say to yourself, I have no self esteem or my confidence is shot to pieces, is an oxymoron and doesn’t make any sense. I mean how can you say with any confidence, you have low confidence, the two don’t go together and just doesn’t work. No wonder your self esteem is low, I’d say it’s confused more than anything else. Say it out loud to yourself right now, listen to those words and think, to be confident you have low confidence takes confidence, and that’s nonsense.

BUT the brain will just do or believe that very thought and receive those words as input to the programme. Let me put it another way, If I said to you, don’t think of an orange, you have to think of an orange to not think of an orange, see what I’m saying.

Confidence is linked to self esteem and there are many studies to prove the two go hand in hand but simply saying that in itself won’t help you and though we may have both just smirked at those last few lines of the section above, self esteem and confidence are very tricky to get right and can be triggered by many aspects of our lives, our family, relationships, dating, work, school, chasing a dream and even me sitting here at my laptop silently tapping away, writing this article wondering whether these mix of words will be any good.

Do I deceive me or do I believe me, it’s my choice.

And choice is where we start. There are many ways I help my clients to build high self esteem, increase and understand their confidence to create the life they really want, to get rid of the crippling effects of a low self esteem.
A simple easy place to start is learn to tell yourself, you’ve decided to rewrite your programme and literally start to believe in you, not to deceive you.
It’s your choice and simply telling yourself good things, affirming positive thoughts and sending a better programme data to your mind, as many studies have proved, will have great results. Try it for 30 days and tell me I’m wrong. I won’t believe you, because even from here, I believe you can do anything you choose to do.
Secondly think of something you truly love to do, something you are passionate about and find pleasure in doing.
What is that for you? This can be anything, running, playing an instrument, fishing, nature, animals, family, something you really love to do, think deeply about why you like doing it. The simple answer is that it can bring you joy, fun, peace, excitement, pleasure, a release, distractions from our hectic lives, a sense of achievement, and in turn balance to life.
When I was boxing and would try to skip rope for hours or hit the speedball and practice my timing, those things were really hard to do. They were tiring, difficult and at times impossible, but when I did nail that rhythm and get an uninterrupted stint at the previously impossible task, I felt like a king. In that moment, there it was, my confidence was high, my self esteem bursting through with pride at my small achievement.

From here I would continue and go back to the gym again, next training session I would be keen to stretch that 20 second burst to a full minute, then stretch it to even longer and quicker. My confidence grew and my skills blossomed too where I even started putting some style into those moves and added a little flair to what I did in my corner little of the gym.
No one but me myself and I could feel what that meant to me, myself and my self esteem, my confidence was building to a level I’ll never forget. It’s like riding a bike, it stays with you. And everyone else in that gym, they were all doing exactly the same, trying to build something they loved to do for that very same reason as me, to feel for themselves that power inside.
And this ideology applies to anything in life you want to do.

This doing, quietly builds experience, skills, knowledge and releases the dormant talents your hard work pays back to you. You build something inside, almost a superpower that build self esteem and confidence. Experience builds that quiet strength deep inside and before you know it, you will start to shine bright like a diamond.

This same theory applies to anything you do in life, you decide. Learning to play chess, writing, riding a bike, swimming, playing football with your mates and anything else you put energy into.
Relationships, family, work, school and life itself. The more you do the better you get, the better you get the more experience you build and there will come a time when you can become a master. How does that sound, amazing right and if you don’t believe me, think about this, no child ever gives up on the idea of walking or talking. No matter how long it takes, the kid never thinks it’s a bad idea and
gives up. They never say to themselves, my self esteem is low or my confidence is terrible when trying to stagger between the coffee table and the sofa, no they just do, they keep doing and eventually get the hang of it. Years later, it becomes something we all master and do without thinking, I’m pretty sure I’ve mastered walking because I do it every single day. My confidence and self esteem in walking is great, how’s yours.

So today, you make the choice, you decide. You decide that you will learn to send better thoughts words and ideas to re programme your mind for the life you really want, does your mind control you or do you control your mind? It is your choice, you decide. As they say, you’re only destined to become, the person you decide to be… so go and be great.

If you're seeking to overcome self-doubt, build your self-esteem, or a resilient mindset, I am here to guide and support you every step of the way. My tailored coaching sessions are designed to help you break through mental barriers, tap into your inner strengths, and unleash the confident, empowered version of yourself. Through personalised strategies and proven techniques, I'll empower you to embrace challenges, seize opportunities, and thrive in all aspects of your life. Get to know more about our mindset, purpose and confidence coaching services here, or contact me today to embark on a transformative journey towards greater confidence, clarity, and fulfilment.

Written by,

Coach Wheeler.

Motivational Keynote Speaker

Mindset, Purpose and Life Coach.